You never had any innocence to start with.

Sep 24

Just Good Friends - Chapter 4 (unfinished)

Alex lay there on the duvet, my legs straddled the lower half of his body, my hands either side of his head.

He looked at me, smiled at me. ‘This is everything I could ever want’ he whispered just before he craned his neck to trap me in a long, hot kiss.

Alex no longer held his jeans up as he had before I had thrown him atop my bed, now he was much too eager to loose them. ‘Save the best thing till last eh’ I muttered between kissing his lips and his neck. With trembling hands (I assume from excitement and anxiety) I unbuttoned my flat-mates shirt. Starting from the top, kissing each new piece of pale flesh as it was uncovered, until eventually I was rubbing my hands all over his chest. Alex’s euphoric laughs filled the room as I groped every piece of available flesh.

Jul 25

Just Good Friends - Chapter 2

‘Alex’

‘Yeah?’

‘Are you only doing this to get over that girl? Because, I don’t want to be used by you. I love you too much’

Alex grasped my face in his hands and pulled it closer. He stared into my eyes. I felt the truth of his words when he spoke them.

‘No, I’m not. I love you too, I would never use you, or do anything to hurt you’

I had no words. I never thought Alex would feel the same way about me. Our eyes were still locked on each other. Alex pulled my face even closer, almost touching. We kissed with a passion that I had never experienced before. His tongue slipped between my teeth, exploring my mouth. We stood there, in the middle of the kitchen, wrapped in our own little bubble of pure passion, for what seemed like a lifetime. When we finally pulled away from each other, the only thing I could say was,

‘I love you Alex. I want to be with you like this forever’

His triumphant smile made me realise something; this could be for real. I’d never been with a man before, but I knew that If my first time was with Alex, I’d be safe. He’d take care of me.

‘I know this sounds a bit awkward Charlie, but, have you ever been with a guy before?’

‘No I haven’t.’

He chuckled softly, ‘It’s okay, I’ve only ever been with one guy before. It wasn’t for very long, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

But I’ll be gentle with you. I guess I’ll have to show you the ropes.’

‘Show me the ropes?’

Being gay sounds more complicated than I ever imagined.

‘Well yeah, I mean, there are rules and errm, haha…..techniques.

I think you’d better sit down for this, there’s a lot.’

Alex sat me down on the sofa and went back to the kitchen and fetched 2 cups of tea. I sat there on the sofa listening intently at what Alex had to say.

He went on about how we would have to use lube a lot, and how there were things we could do that you can’t do with girls.

Jul 4

Just Good Friends - Chapter 1

Alex was sat on the sofa. As I walked towards him, I noticed two things; he was clutching his favourite Pikachu plushie unusually tight and he had dried tears on his face.

‘What’s the matter Alex? What happened??’

Large tears rolled from his eyes as he explained.

‘She cheated on me Charlie.

I trusted her, I fucking loved her Charlie. And she went and cheated on me!’

Pikachu’s ears started to darken with moisture; slowly, I lowered myself onto the sofa and held him in my arms.

Don’t cry Alex. Don’t ruin your perfect face with those tears.

‘You’re too good for someone like her Alex, you knew she was bad from the beginning’

‘I know Charlie its just…it’s just…’ He couldn’t even finish his sentence without bursting into tears.

‘It’s okay Alex, I’m here for you, always’

‘Thanks Charlie, I knew you could get me through this’

It was all I could do not to kiss him, tell him everything’s alright, that I’d never leave him, that I love him.

‘I’m going to bed, night Charlie’ I turned to watch a disenchanted Alex shuffle out of the living room towards his bedroom, dragging his over-sized Pokemon with him.

‘Let me come too…’ I said in a hushed whisper

‘What?’

Shit I thought that was a hushed whisper!

‘Umm, nothing, g’night Alex’

Why can’t I tell him? I’m a terrible person.

I didn’t sleep that night. I was too busy thinking about Alex. All the things I want to do to him, all the things I would never do, because I’m such a coward.

I stood over the counter staring at the teapot pondering whether I should pour myself a cup to help clear my thoughts when Alex walked into the kitchen. I wasn’t aware of what we were doing until my fingers were twisted in his hair.

He’d walked straight up to me, his body pressing softly against mine. I took a nervous giddy breath at his touch. His long slender arms wrapped themselves around my waist. I felt his breath against my neck. His soft lips caressed my neck.

‘Alex, what are you doing?’ I asked.

Why the FUCK did you say that! YOU IDIOT! This is what you want!

‘Don’t you like it? I thought this is what you want? Do you want me to stop? I’m sorry’

His flurry of nervous questions hit me hard. I should never have opened my stupid mouth. I had to answer, but with what?

‘Alex…Yes, yes I do like it. Yes, this is what I want. And no, I don’t want you to stop. I never want you to stop’

He chuckled, and proceeded to kiss the length of my neck. He was still pressed against my back; he turned me around so I was facing him. I stared into his perfect eyes. Alex slowly brought his face to mine, his hands slid from my waist, finally resting on my chest just beneath my collar bone.

I leant into him, lips parted slightly. We both knew what happened next. Alex took my tender lips with his. It was so warm, so tender, so right. He pulled his face back to look at me.

‘You’re so beautiful Charlie’

He pulled me in for another kiss, slipping his tongue into the space in my mouth. It was better than any kiss I had experienced with a girl. I wanted to stand there in the middle of the kitchen snogging him all day, but I just couldn’t shake the thought that he was doing this with me to get over that girl. As I pulled my face from his, I saw the look of confusion sweep his face.

‘What’s the matter Charlie? Are you enjoying it?’

Again with the awkward questions.